Amber Hard: The Dog Pupped in Johnny Depp’s Bed, I’m Not!

After a week-long hiatus, Johnny Depp-Amber Hard defamation trial resumed this morning.

You are undoubtedly aware that for the past month wild savage legal battles have been dominating the tabloid headlines and one more week of testimony will surely lead to new shocking allegations.

Amber took a stand again this morning, and again, came to discuss one of the most commonly joking incidents of her brief marriage to Depp.

But Hard and his attorney impressed the jury that it was no laughing matter.

If you’ve followed the trial even abruptly, you’ve probably heard of the allegation that Herd once defecated in Depp’s bed as a kind of misleading prank or revenge attempt.

In testimony this morning, Hard explained that the bedside incident happened the day after he was 30 years old.

He told the court that Depp had violently attacked him the night before his birthday, but insisted that there was no truth in the claim that he had defiled his bed in response to the attack.

“Did you do any kind of prank?” Hard’s lawyer asked about his actions.

“Not at all. First of all, I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t know what an adult woman does. I wasn’t in the mood for fun,” Hard replied.

“I was attacked on my 30th birthday by my violent husband, with whom I was in desperate love and knew I needed to leave. It wasn’t really a happy time, and I don’t think it’s funny. Duration. It’s disgusting.”

Hard explained that one of the couple’s two Yorkshire Terriers had difficulty controlling his bowels, but he was allowed to sleep in bed with his owners.

According to Hard, the dog had an accident at night and the mess that was later found in the bed is nothing more mysterious than that.

The phenomenon has become so well known that it was the subject of this week’s cold-open sketch Live Saturday night.

Although it must be lighter than the other claims at Hard Stand – including the allegation that Depp sexually harassed her with a glass bottle – today’s testimony bed part will surely make headlines if the incident lasts long. Some Hollywood circles have been an ongoing joke.

Herd for Herd is a cross-examination by Depp’s attorneys that is sure to be combative.

“During next week’s cross-examination, Camille Vasquez plans to call Miss Hard on a lot of lies and inconsistencies in her timeline that have changed significantly over the last six years,” said a representative of the actor.

“We hope Depp’s attorneys will jump on the bandwagon instead,” a spokesman for Hard said later in the day.

“It simply came to our notice then. And, irresistible evidence – true – not in favor of Depp, “the representative added.

“One thing we suspect that Depp’s attorneys will avoid is the central issue in this trial: does Amber or any woman have the First Amendment right to freedom of speech?”

Hard’s team has already suffered a setback this week, as a judge has ruled that a film that appears to have the actress’ bloody lips is unacceptable because the defense did not submit the image at the stage of discovery of the high-profile case.

On the stand, Hard explained that he was injured during a fight with Depp in his apartment.

“I was in one of these fights, I believe it’s one, in his downtown ECB, we call it the loft, and we’re in the kitchen living area and he’s backhand me,” she said.

“And, you know, it was, you know, he wears a lot of rings. I remember, my lips got into my teeth, and there was a little bit of blood on the wall. Blood on the wall.”

We will have more updates on this evolving story as more information becomes available.

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