General Evans: I can be paralyzed any day now, I’m a ticking time bomb!
Do you enjoy talking trash about Janelle Evans but get a little tired of everything about the defeat of her only fans over the last few weeks?
So boy, do we have a treat for you!
Yes, instead of discussing his steps towards creating content for adults and all its ins and outs, we will return to discussing his never ending health problems.
That’s what he focused on for a while, but last month he said he kept his health issues “on hold” until June – yes, he actually said – and now we’re here.
Things were getting pretty scary before Brianna Djessas flew to Florida for a party and stuck to her declining health to slip the tees nip on OnlyFans.
He has been complaining of mild pain due to cysts in his spine for months and he has repeatedly said that these cysts can cause paralysis.
In March, he made a statement that he had finally been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but that was not good enough for him, and he soon returned to investigate to find out what his real problem was.
He theorized that he might have a serious illness like MS or myasthenia gravis, and he even expressed concern that he had ALS.
She went to her local emergency room in March, complaining of chest pain and difficulty breathing.
Things were a bit quieter after that, probably because he switched from gazelle beer to gazelle wine, which could clear up some of the symptoms.
But, as he said, this month he is starting his health problems again, and this weekend he is starting it with this weird little TikTok.
At first she made a video of herself dancing outside – you know the kind of video we’re talking about – and someone commented, “Aren’t you basically paralyzed a few months ago? It’s a miracle you’ve recovered.”
The video we are going to talk about is a response to those short comments.
“I swear you won’t listen to what I say,” Janel began. “You can’t just recover from a cyst in your spine.”
Oh, here we go.
“Instead of being so rude, ‘Hey, what’s going on with your health lately?'” He suggested.
Instead of taking a moment to admit how stupid it was, he felt comfortable giving advice on how not to be rude to all people, he just continued the update.
“I still have a cyst in my spine,” he said “I actually have to go for an MRI checkup to see how long it lasts. Once you have a cyst in your spine, it can get bigger, longer and cripple you.”
“I was told that I would be paralyzed, and I still do, any day. If I became paralyzed or lost a bowel movement without trying, I would have to go to the hospital immediately and have emergency surgery.”
Okay, first of all, I love the phrase “crippled”, let’s make it a thing.
Second, he also loves the idea of losing bowel movements without trying, glad he could intentionally lose them without any worries.
In addition, we are not doctors by any means, but we do think that if someone is paralyzed – sorry, Goes Paralyzed – it would be nice to go to the hospital regardless of the cyst, wouldn’t it?
“So yes,” Janelle continued, “I’m here like a ticking time bomb, waiting to give up, I guess you can tell.”
She said she has an appointment with her doctor next week and will have more blood tests as well as genetic tests to find out what went wrong with her, but they think it’s some autoimmune disease.
In the comment, someone asked if something could be done for him now, and he replied “No, wait until you are paralyzed then they will do something.”
Some people said they had cysts in their spine but paralysis was not a major concern and he said that “I am growing 1 mm per month but hopefully it will not widen anymore.”
Some people think that every single bit of it is fake, but let’s just say that it actually has a cyst in its spine, right?
Will her doctor really tell her that she can “be paralyzed any day now” but they can’t do anything about it? That sounds weird, doesn’t it?
A quick Google look shows that paralysis from spinal cysts is extremely rare, and since they rarely cause such debilitating symptoms and are a dangerous place to have spinal surgery, doctors usually treat the symptoms instead of trying to get rid of the cyst completely.
So Janelle seems to have googled some of her own, seeing that paralysis is a possibility and going with it.
Whatever happens, we hope he gets some help – even if he’s fidgeting about everything, he’s not healthy.
Do you think he is really at risk of becoming paralyzed?
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